Application Project Write Up

Topic Selected: Family

My Plan: To improve my relationship with my husband by being deliberately aware of our interactions. I want our interactions to be more positive, more uplifting, and to increase the amount of one-on-one time my husband and I spend together.

1. think before I speak---Are my words kind? Are they necessary?
2. Make a conscious effort to thank my husband for all he does for our family. This can be verbally, thru text, or with an email.
3. Plan dates with my husband. Yes, babysitters are expensive. Yes, the toddler will cry almost the entire time we're gone. Go anyway.

Application Project Write Up:

Since having children, my husband and I have stopped going on regular dates. Our excuses for not dating are common: babysitters cost money, it is hard to find a babysitter that will do more than watch a movie with our kids, and it is hard to spend money on an activity for the date when we are already spending money for a sitter. My husband and I have tried to do “date-like” things after the kids are in bed. We will watch a movie together or share a bowl of ice cream while we talk, but it is just not the same.

We have two sons. Our oldest loves people and will happily stay with any sitter we choose. Our youngest, however, is a Mama's boy through and through. I can barely leave his side without him falling apart. I have been hesitant to leave him with a sitter for this reason. Nonetheless, this project motivated me to find a sitter and go out with my husband. We went to a play and it was fantastic. I remembered how much I enjoy watching plays with my husband. My husband and I were able to enjoy great conversation without any interruption or talking in code so that our kids do not understand what we are saying. It went so well that my husband and I made plans to go out again.

The next step in my plan is to make a greater effort to thank and praise my husband. He is a great guy and I am lucky to have him. His love language is words of affirmation so I knew that he would like this part of the project. I found that I enjoyed it, too. As I set goals to send my husband a kind text or email, I found myself becoming aware of the many unnoticed things that my husband does regularly. He pulls the trash cans in from the curb every Friday night. One day he went into work early so that he could get off early because I had a doctor's appointment. I think that this part of the project helped my husband know that I appreciate him.

The last part of my project was the hardest. I am a stay-at-home mom. My days are long and repetitive. There are times when I would do anything to escape the monotony of my life. Who wants to wash dishes again? Or change another dirty diaper? All too often my husband is my dumping ground. When I am overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood, he is the one I vent to. He hears all my complaints and that is not really fair. He works hard all day, too. There are times when he would rather not go to work. However, he goes anyway and he goes without complaint. I am trying to reframe my retelling of the day's events. My husband still hears about the hard parts of my day, but I am trying to be more aware of the cute things our boys say or the funny things they do so that I can share them with my husband.

Overall, this project has reminded me that I am married to a great man. I need to do my part to strengthen our marriage and I am thankful that this project provided me with an opportunity to do that. 

Position Statement: Family

My family matters a lot to me. There is no one I would rather be with than my husband and my two boys. I am grateful that the Church values family, and that an emphasis is placed on marriage between a man and a women, with children being raised by two parents that love one another.

My application portion of this project focuses on the family because I want to strengthen my ties with the people I love most.

Position Statement: Agency

Growing up, I always envisioned myself as the perfect mother, raising beautiful, perfectly behaved children. I have since learned that motherhood is complicated and my children are opinionated. It is difficult to watch my children make choices other than what I think is best. I enjoyed studying about agency because I was reminded that every day I make choices, too. I choose whether or not to obey God's commandments, just as my children choose whether or not to obey our family rules. This topic was a good reminder to me that every person has the ability to choose and I need to respect their agency.

Position Statement: Pornography

Pornography scares me. I am a mom of all boys, and I worry about how to teach them about the dangers of pornography. I have also watched a dear friend's marriage crumble because her husband is so caught up in pornography that his family no longer matters to him. Pornography is one of the sins of this day and age, and I am grateful that the apostles and prophets give clear warnings about the issue. I am thankful for their strong stance regarding media and for their counsel about how to avoid pornography.

Position Statement: Patience

Patience is not one of my virtues. I understand that patience is a godly attribute and that obtaining patience is necessary to enter heaven. However, I had hoped that my husband's patience would be enough for both of us because when two people are married they become one. Sadly, my study of patience has made it clear that everyone (including me) must learn to be patient. I must try every day to improve my patience. This is a skill I will have to work my entire life to gain, but the words of the prophets and apostles give me guidance as I do so.

Position Statement: Prayer

I am thankful for the opportunity to study about prayer. There are times when prayer feels natural to me: I understand how to communicate with God and I am happy to do it. Then there are times when prayer feels awkward and ineffective. It feels as though God is far away and his responses to my prayers are delayed or hard to understand. Thus, I am grateful for the simple, beautiful way that the apostles describe prayer. Their words are a good reminder that I should pray sincerely and often. Prayer is a skill that I must work to improve.

Position Statement: Temple Attendance

My family recently moved closer to a temple. It is nice that attending the temple is no longer an all day event. It makes it easier to coordinate babysitting. However, living close to a temple also makes it harder to attend regularly because temple attendance can become so commonplace that we fail to plan to attend. It is easier to get caught up in daily routines instead. I am thankful for quotes regarding temple attendance because they remind me of the temple covenants I have made. The words of the prophets strengthen my resolve to attend the temple regularly, no matter how hard or easy it may be.

Position Statement: Debt

My husband recently started a new job. The new job includes a pay increase. As such, my husband and I are now accountable for a higher amount of money each month. It is easy to feel rich and to spend with reckless abandon. It is better to plan, follow a budget, and save for rainy days that are sure to come. I am grateful that the prophets teach us to live within our means, and I am glad that paying tithing teaches us to contribute to a cause greater than ourselves.

Position Statement: Atonement

One thing I recognized as a result of this project is that the Atonement is all encompassing. It seems that no matter the topic of the many general conference talks I read, the Atonement was mentioned in some way. I believe that the Atonement is mentioned so frequently because it is central to the Plan of Salvation. Without Jesus Christ as our Redeemer, we are nothing. Without the Atonement, we would be overwhelmed by sin, disappointment, and failures of the flesh. I am grateful for the Atonement and all that it does for me.

Debt Quote 10

 Live strictly within your income and save something for a rainy day. Incorporate in your lives the discipline of budgeting that which the Lord has blessed you with. As regularly as you pay your tithing, set aside an amount needed for future family requirements.

 Elder L. Tom Perry, If Ye are Prepared, Ye Shall Not Fear, October 1995 General Conference

Debt Quote 9

I urge you, brethren, to look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage.

This is a part of the temporal gospel in which we believe. May the Lord bless you, my beloved brethren, to set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, To the Boys and to the Men, October 1998 General Conference

Debt Quote 8

We are carrying a message of self-reliance throughout the Church. Self-reliance cannot obtain when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, To the Boys and to the Men, October 1998 General Conference

Debt Quote 7

Yes, financial strength is realized by keeping God’s commandments, by the payment of an honest tithe, by developing habits of work, by being thrifty and living within one’s income, as well as by using our means wisely. May each of us this night commit ourselves to incorporate these great principles into our lives.

Elder Franklin D. Richards, Personal and Family Financial Preparedness, April 1979 General Conference

Debt Quote 6

If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means,and if there is any one thing that is grinding, and discouraging and disheartening it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet.
President Heber J. Grant, Relief Society Magazine, May 1932, p. 302. 

Debt Quote 5

Brethren, compliance with the law of tithing opens the windows of heaven, bringing material and spiritual blessings through sacrifice and obedience. It is truly the first step towards personal and family financial preparedness.As long as one is honest with the Lord, the amount of tithing paid is not material. The widow’s or child’s mite is as important and acceptable as the rich man’s offerings.

Elder Franklin D. Richards, Personal and Family Financial Preparedness,  April 1979 General Conference

Debt Quote 4

I would like to suggest a three-point formula to attain and maintain financial preparedness:

1. Pay your tithes and offerings.
2. Get out of debt and stay out of debt.
3. Use your surplus funds wisely.
This formula is equally applicable to young and old.

Elder Franklin D. Richards, Personal and Family Financial Preparedness, April 1979 General Conference

Debt Quote 3

Teach your children while they are young. Teach them that they cannot have something merely because they want it. Teach them the principles of hard work, frugality, and saving.

Elder Joseph Worthlin, Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts, April 2004 General Conference

Debt Quote 2

The wise understand the importance of saving today for a rainy day tomorrow. They have adequate insurance that will provide for them in case of illness or death. Where possible, they store a year’s supply of food, water, and other basic necessities of life. They set aside money in savings and investment accounts. They work diligently to reduce the debt they owe to others and strive to become debt free.

Elder Joseph B. Worthlin, Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts April 2004 General Conference

Debt Quote 1

Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation. … Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.

President J. Reuben Clark Jr., In Conference Report, Apr. 1938, 103

Temple Attendance Quote 10

The moment we step into the house of the Lord, the atmosphere changes from the worldly to the heavenly, where respite from the normal activities of life is found, and where peace of mind and spirit is received. It is a refuge from the ills of life and a protection from the temptations that are contrary to our spiritual well-being.

Elder David B. Haight, Temples and Work Therein, October 1990 General Conference

Temple Attendance Quote 9

There may be a time when we may not be able to do the research [family history] required, but this should not deter us from receiving the blessings of temple attendance. With forty-four functioning temples located in various parts of the world, the privilege of participating in temple activity is becoming more and more available. Should you or I neglect either of these responsibilities?

Elder David B. Haight,Temples and Work Therein, October 1990 General Conference

Temple Attendance Quote 8

Temples are the most sacred places of worship on earth where sacred ordinances are performed—ordinances which pertain to salvation and exaltation in the kingdom of God. Each one is literally a house of the Lord—a place where He and His spirit may dwell, where He may come or send others to confer priesthood blessings and to give revelation to His people.

Elder David B. Haight,Temples and Work Therein, October 1990 General Conference

Patience Quote 10

Is patience important and worthy of our pondering and pursuit? It certainly is if we would avoid the demeaning classification of “nothing” used to label those without charity. It is if we desire to be less a natural-man enemy of God. It is if we would be heavenly. It is if we would seek to become after the manner of Christ.

Elder Robert C. Oaks, The Power of Patience, October 2006 General Conference

Patience Quote 9

 Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His”

Elder Neal A. Maxwell, "Patience,” Ensign, Oct. 1980, 28.

Patience Quote 8

Today in our hurried and hectic lives, we could well go back to an earlier time for the lesson taught us regarding crossing dangerous streets. “Stop, look, and listen” were the watchwords. Could we not apply them now? Stop from a reckless road to ruin. Look upward for heavenly help. Listen for His invitation: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

President Thomas S. Monson, Patience---a Heavenly Virtue, October 1995 General Conference

Patience Quote 7

Who can count the vast throngs of the lonely, the aged, the helpless—those who feel abandoned by the caravan of life as it moves relentlessly onward and then disappears beyond the sight of those who ponder, who wonder, and who sometimes question as they are left alone with their thoughts. Patience can be a helpful companion during such stressful times.

President Thomas S. Monson, Patience---a Heavenly Virtue, October 1995 General Conference

Patience Quote 6

Waiting upon the Lord gives us a priceless opportunity to discover that there are many who wait upon us. Our children wait upon us to show patience, love, and understanding toward them. Our parents wait upon us to show gratitude and compassion. Our brothers and sisters wait upon us to be tolerant, merciful, and forgiving. Our spouses wait upon us to love them as the Savior has loved each one of us.

Elder Robert D. Hales, Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will be Done, October 2011 General Conference

Patience Quote 5

What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and… patience.

Elder Robert D. Hales, Waiting upon the Lord: Thy  Will be Done, October 2011 General Conference

Patience Quote 4

Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Like a Broken Vessel, October 2013 General Conference

Patience Quote 3

Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Continue in Patience, April 2010 General Conference

Patience Quote 2

Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter.

Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Continue in Patience, April 2010 General Conference

Patience Quote 1

 I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.

There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!

Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Continue in Patience, April 2010 General Conference